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dust? Therefore, come off the track and join the countless host who stand here ready to receive them." At the mention of giving sorrow to any of '9·4-for you have long since divined the occupants of the coming train-they with one accord got a 1110ve allto themselves just in time to avoid b~illg kicked off by an iron boot. With a jerk, a rattle, a sizz , a clank and a bang the whole train is brought to a standstill, and theu-c-c-Ye gods, what a sight to behold! From that dirty and soot- begriiued coach there stepped forth fifty-six of the finest specimens of humanity mortal eye ever beheld, tongue ever expressed or pen ever described. The mob went into ecstasies! Pistols were fired! Thompson let out his conches free of charge for the memorable occasiou.cf chnrging $2 for the use of the whip.) The shops were opened and put at the disposal of the people to show their appreciation of the honor done them. Dr. Lewis, our worthy president, with a tear ill his eye aud a tremor in his voice. or, in other words, a frog in his throat, exclaimed: "Oh, \v. M. C, happy indeed art thou to be the recipient of this immortal band." Then the band ascended the old hill, and S0011 were made happy and welcome by all ill the large ami capacious dining-hall with a delicious and plentiful supply of good and wholesome food. In the meantime. the mob dispersed to their respective homes to further discuss the event and its most pleasing outcome. Let 'us hastily pass over the trials and calamities we endured for a while. The Sophs held supreme sway, and we settled down into apparently peaceful Freshmen. Apparently peaceful, 1 say, for beneath our benign and calm countenances there was "fight." The lion was there dormant. \Vc had discovered our courage when we spent the first night in old Ward Hall, where we had slain ill triumph the other occupants of our domicile. The Sophs hold the fort. The Freshies hold their loose change and inwardly smile, as they think of the funerals they will have the pleasure of attending bye-and-bye. As time goes on there are mysterious gatherings here and there, and it needs not the aid of one skilled in the art of thaumaturgy to inform one that something is in the wind. Trouble is brewing. Everywhere you hear whispered "effigy!" "effigy!" In vain do the Sophs endeavor to get at the date of the cremation of Sallust. That worthy's ashes would have been laid away in peace, his last mortal remains, donned in Soph pantaloons, would have passed away in dignified and reverent silence had not one of our own gallant ctessmen acted in the following manner: Now, it came about by chance that on a certain nig11t in June, 189[, a Soph and a Freshman did occupy the same couch The Fresh stole silently into the room and retired before the Soph concluded to place his carcass under the influence of Morpheus. Our poor Fresh had his cranium so loaded with plans and his poor frame was so weary from perambulating about tryiug to rob some Soph of his clothing that he succull:bec1 immediately to gentle sleep, and he did therein give vent to mntterings, to which the traitorous Soph did listen. The traitor did rise in his eagerness to a sitting posture, and thereby he did bring the great toe of his pedal extremity within range of the understandings of his victim. vHa:' ' muttereth the traitor, "thou goest to bed with thy sandals 011, dost thou? Forthwith he Iighteth a match and creepeth to the reclining form, slowly and cau- tionsly doth he haul down the scanty covering, when, 10 and behold! the Fresh- man is revealed, minus no clothing save his hat, and this, it was afterward discovered, 84