Page 4 - Phoenix1999-2000

Thursday. September 16, 1999-Page4 COMMENTARY Staff Quirks: Beanie Change is afoot at Phoenix Editors-In-Chief Megan Martin '01 showdown Megan Martin reintroduces the The most important changes, however, Emily Stamathis '00 Phoenix editors. are within the editorial staff. While Emily Managing Editor - and I remain co-editors, Laura Kelley has left Jenifer Sirkis '01 Anne Butler provides a behind-the Sitting outside at Welcome Back Week- her position as Managing Editor, at least for - scenes glimpse at McDonald's Assistant Managing Editor end got me thinking about change. I looked this semester, to study in Budapest for Fall Stacie Underwood '01 summer promotions. for people who graduated last May, forget- 1999. Jenifer Sirkis, formerly one of our News Editor ting they were gone. People I had not seen news editors, has stepped up to take over the Lisa Dale-VanAuken '02 I started working at Mcponald's in the all summer made the inevitable comments Managing Editor position and has been ex- middle of the third Teenie Beanie Happy about my newly (at least for them) cropped tremely instrumental in getting this first is- Assistant News Editor Meal promotion (smaller versions of Bean- hair. I couldn't begin to count how many sue of (he semester off the ground. Stacie Kate Esposito '01 ies, including a squirrel), We offered twelve times people have asked me, "Where did all Underwood has joined the staff as Jenifer's Features Editor regular Teenies, and later on, four Teenie your hair go?" or "When did your hair dis- assistant, and both will take over and reor- Sarah Radice '01 Bears. appear?" Some things never change, Iguess. ganize our subscriptions. Commentary Editor One Teenie came with a Happy Meal, or Yes, change is in the air: the days are get- Erin Howard chose to become The Kristen G. Fraser '00 they could be bought separately. As for the ting shorter, the leaves will be turning col- Phoenix's senior writer, a position which has Sports Editor Bears, there were four bears in all, only two ors soon, the birds are preparing to fly south not been filled since 1998. In the place of MikeYestramski'OI bears could be purchased per two hour visit, for the winter. Erin and Jenifer, Lisa Dale-VanAuken and Assistant Sports Editor and you had to buy an Extra Value Meal in The campus is changing also. Amidst the Kate Esposito will be editing the news s~c- Chris Anastasia '02 order to get them. Only six Bearffeenies returning students, the freshmen and trans- tion. could be purchased at a time. fers are being welcomed. We have a slightly Kristen G. Fraser, Sarah Radice, and Art Editor/ArchivisULayout Unfortunately, most of the experiences I adjusted class schedule. There are new pro- Mike Yestramski will retain their positions Michael Puskar '99 had with the Teenies were negative. The fessors and staff to meet. as Commentary Editor, Features Editor, and Senior Writer worst personal experience would have to be The Phoenix hasn't been immune to Sports Editor respectively. Chris Anastasia Erin Howard '00 the Trailer Park Trash Terror (TPTT). change either. OUf office is relatively clean joins Mike in sports. Photographers The woman's husband came in and and organized. The annual recruitment party We're hoping that both new and old staff Trang Dam '00 wished to acquire 20 Teenies and Bears. yielded a large number of new staff mem- members will come together to further im- Robyn Hill '02 Paul Himes '02 Now, the poor husband was a few bricks shy bers. Look for their articles starting next is- prove our award-winning publication Erin Owen '01 of a load, and he couldn't comprehend the After all, there's always room for change. rules that Ioutlined to you in the second para- Staff Writers Claire Adams '02 graph. with The WMC flex terror Anne Butler '01 The biggest one he had a problem Ben Decker '()() Julie Devefin '01 was that he could only take six of the toys Joan Faulkner '02 with him. Eventually he left, shaking his head Ryan Sea volt describes an known reason. Shannon Hess '02 and murmuring that his wife was going to academic terror affecting the The information covered in flex could Sara E. Hoover '02 Mike Jenkinson be very mad. Little did Iknow just how mad! campus, easily be included into the basic class Erin Jernigan '()() The husband's prediction came true, and structure of the course. Another option.is an Brook.eJoseph '02 the TPTf called my manager and was told The horror, the sheer unmitigated terror extra ninety-minute class every week, and Mollie Land '02 Cathy Pendorf'02 she could only have six toys. She called the - imagine what a hybrid of Count Dracula, an extra class-credit given to the students Jennifer Ross '00 Branch Office to protest and was told that Godzilla, and the Boogey Man would look who decide to attend. Franccsca Saylor '()() Ryan Seavolr '00 there was nothing they could do, that was a like. Then, multiply by ten the fear you would "However, this is not'ihe case. Instead, we Rich Simmons '00 rule put down by the parent company. She feel by seeing this awful creature. It's pain- may become confused about the time of the Shawn Sprague '01 was only to get six Teenies per visit. The ful, a thorn in the side of every science ma- flex class, since it does not start at the same Michae! Stokes '(}{) Chris Taugher '02 TIPT would not take no for an answer. jor at this college. time as the other classes of that course, or Emily Wilson '02 She entered our restaurant with her (figu- You think..that you've finished with your frustrated when we remember that we have Ted Witiak '02 rative) guns blazing. She entered as other classes for the day or that it's time to go to another class to go to and that lunch will have Kevin Worley '00 customers quickly vacated the area. The lunch. But, no, that's when it appears, when to be put on hold. RainiWright'(}{) drive-thru runner hid behind the fry machine. it creeps up from behind you and sucks you What 1 ask for is not such a lofty goal. I Distribution lied all of the children, the 14 -15 yearolds, back into the classroom. When you least ex- Rich Suchoski '()() do not presume to ask for an end to famine to safety. The Manager appeared and swag- pect it comes ... the dreaded REX! and disease or make a desperate plea for Graduate Assistant gered down the grill to the front counter. I'm talking about that one hour-long class world peace. I simply make a humble plea Vince Chesney Now, this particular manager was named every week, which in addition to three hours of mercy to any kind soul with the ability to Adviser Wendy. She is a very big and tough woman, of class time, and perhaps a four hour lab, make my dream come true. Eliminate the Terry Dalton but the TPTr was more than willing to take which seems to be necessary for some un- flexes, please! her on. Wendy stopped at the front counter ThePhoenixispublishedbiweekly. The and took in her opponent. The TPTT just opinions expressed do not necessarily rep- stared at Wendy. A tumbleweed passed be- SEX. resent those of The Phoenix staff, the fac- tween them. Then the TPTT opened her ulty, or the administrators ofWMC. mouth, and the fight began! The match lasted about twenty minutes The paper welcomes free-lance submis- both yelling at the top of their lungs. It in- You never lose the right to refuse. sions on Macintosh disks in most word pro- cluded such memorable lines as, "I pay your Being unable to consent is not cessorformats. Theeditorreservestheright salary, servant!" and, "You all are nothing to edit for clarity, length, and libel and to but a bunch of no good idiotic bastards!" It the same as saying yes. publish as space permits. All submissions ended with the TPTr pulling out a cellular (excluding self-addressed diskettes) become phone, calling the Branch Office and being No means No. Period. the property of The Phoenix and cannot be told the same thing. She tried calling the returned. owner and found he wasn't in. If you need help about sexual violence, Please include a name and phone nom- A five-minute reprisal of the earlier match call us. Calls are confidential and ber for verification. Names will be withheld ensued over why the owner wasn't available. services are free. onlybythediscretionoftheEdita"S-in-Chief. Then Wendy decided she had had enough and tossed the TPTf in our dumpster shouting, The Plwenixdoesnotdiscriminate based "This is where trash like you belongs!" and Telephone: 410 - 857 - 0900 OIl age, race, religion, gender, sexual orien- slammed the lid down. Well, that's what I tation, national origin, condition of handi- would have liked to have happened. In real- cap, or marital status. ity, there was a shouting match, but it ended 24 hour Hotline: 410-875-7322 with-the woman proclaiming she would Mail to: never come to our McDonald's again, not a Rape Crisis Intervention Service The Phoenix big loss really. Her husband still comes in WMC, 2 College Hill though. He's fond of chocolate shakes. of Carroll County Westminster,MD21l57 So what did I learn from this experience? 224 North Center Street, Rm. 102 (410)751-8600 Well, I learned that to some Beanie Babies FAX, (410) 857-2729 are their favorite thing in life. For me, my Westminster, MO E-Mail: phoenix@wmdc.edu favorite thing in life is seei-ng loudmouth idi- www.rapecrislscc.com ots like the TPTJ' get what's coming to them.