Page 6 - ThePhoenix1996-97

Thursday, September 5, 1996 - Page 6 NEWS Tales From Reality Magic and laser shows Continued from page 2 Now. Who? Doesn't matter (unless she looks .. Well this is too light up September any talk show (Today's topic: people who like Rosanne). How? Doesn't matter. have sex with their furniture). Where? Anywhere. Why? Anyway, the other day I was in a party at deep of a question; usually a guy would give WMC Land; you are probably thinking: an intelligent answer to such inquire, like: "Wow!, this guy is lucky, there's not many "Huh?" of these things around here." My point is that On the other hand, girls often are a little I was in a party and, since I wasn't having bit more complicated. Sometimes they are much success myself, I decided to observe so difficult to understand that when God cre- other people. OK, you are right, I was bored. ated them, he should have enclosed a book- In circumstances like this, people usually get let with directions for use. drunk, but I looked at the others instead. You might think that my argument rests Don't get me wrong, it was a result of a so- on gender-based generalizations. For those ciological experiment (yeah, right!). Any- smart-ass fellows who think so, I have some- way, at the party, guy A said 10 girl A (these thing to say: You are right. But, get real, if are just letters to identify them, Dot the name God didn't want gender-based generaliza- of some international students ): "your eyes tions, He wouldn't have created different are like the stars in a night with a full moon," genders. We all would be some kind of "Eiou," I thought, "that's disgusting." Then asexual species with the reproductive sys- the girl laid down and kissed him saying: tem of an amoeba and the external appear- "that's so beautiful." Beautiful?, come on, a ance of Michael Jackson. Thank God we sea lion is more articulated than that. have different genders, let's see now, we Later on, guy B said to girl B : "Can I have: males, females, and Keanu Reeves. have directions to your heart?" "Here we go," And Thank God we also have pickup lines I thought, "and here it comes, the kiss." In- because otherwise we wouldn't be able to stead the girl looked at him as if she were communicate with each other, and we going to puke on him and said: "Buy a map couldn't perpetuate the human race. Or and get lost." At least she didn't slap him on what's even worse, we would spend our time the face, because she looked like the kind of playing the lottery and watching talk shows girl who would eat Arnold Schwarzenegger (Today's topic: people that find Jim Carrey for breakfast (don't blame me for misspell- funny, then have sex with their furniture). ing his last name, 'there should be a law The moral of the story is: no matter what against names like that). your gender is, communicate with your op- The point I'm trying to make here with posite sex by any means (yes, alcohol too). these examples is that this is not a coherent Even use pickup lines if you really have to behavior. Take a look at guys' behavior in- (here I mean if you ~ have to). Anything stead: What do guys want? Girls. When? is better than watching Rikki Lake. Student Research and Creativity Grants the 8:45 p.m. laser show on September Illusionist Scott Grocki, a 1995 graduate, will open only/or available for Fall 1996 28. Grocki's show is a high tech combination of magic and illusions. Take the Stars Wars trilogy, Star Trek and animation and abstract design. The company, Students can apply for and receive grants with a particular course. It may be a special the other Gene Roddenberry spinoffs, toss which also stages more than 50 planetarium for research and creativity projects for the studies outgrowth of a course. A grant may in every high tech cartoon, shake until well shows each week, has worked with AT&T, fall of 1996. The deadline for applications cover the cost of materials for such projects. blended and serve in a packed gymnasium. Dr. Pepper, General Electric, Walt Disney for the grants is September 30, 1996. It may also cover travel expenses to librar- That's a sure fire recipe for fun in the World, rBM, and Pepsi. To apply for an award, a student must ies or special collections. "These are merely 21 st century, just a few years ahead of sched- Grocki's show, which opens for the 8:45 have a WMC grade point average of 3.2 and examples", said Dean Joan Coley, Provost ule, and Western Maryland College is serv- p.m. laser extravaganza only, also is a high obtain the direct involvement of close spon- and coordinator of the grants. ing it up for students, faculty, staff and the tech combination of magic and illusions, in- sorship of a faculty member. The awards Dean Coley also said she would like to surrounding community on Saturday, Sep- corporating pyrotechnics and aerotechnics. are competitive. see what kinds of creative proposals students tember 28, at 8:45 p.m. in the Gill Center. He and fellow performer WMC graduate Jen- The grants are intended to encourage may devise, in consultation with appropri- special projects that complement students' ate faculty. Groch's show, which opens for the 8:45 p.m. laser major academic emphases; they are not in- Grants may range from $25 to $500. tended to cover the normal expense of a Applications are available in Dean extravaganza only, also is a high tech combination of course. Coley's office. The project mayor may not be connected magic and illusions, incorporating pyrotechnics and aerotechnics. SGA NEWS BRIEFS • includes high tech wizardry designed by nifer Brown .'95 will create unique and per- The indoor laser, lights and music show of the magic of some presentations sonal <; Audio Visual Imagineering, Inc. (AVI), world's classic illusions, as well as present The Student Government Assembly welcomes returning and America's leading laser special effects and some special skits created just for the show presentation company, and the appearance, atWMC. first year students to WMC. Good luck in your classes for and maybe disappearance, of illusionist Grocki, who quickly turned his hobby into this semester. Should you have any questions about WMC, Scon Grocki '95. a full-time career after graduating from The show is free and open to the public. for college please call the SGA hotline at X63i or email at However, tickets are required and will be WMC, has performed nationwide Magic Stu- audiences. Grocki and corporate SGAOOi@nsi.wmc.car.md.us. available at the information desk in Decker dios is based in Westminster. College Center after September IS. Also, a For more information see enclosed spe- second laser show just for students and the cial invitation for students. Welcome WMC WMC AVI, founded will be held at 11 p.m. Courtesy of Public Information community in 1978, presents more than 80 laser shows each year and is a con- NO GlMMICKS NOWI EXTRA INCOMl Budapest Students! sistent awardwinner for both technical and ENVELOPESTUFF1NG-$6OD-$800 ..... "'_k artistic from the International achievement Laser Display Association, including II F.... OIItall&: SASE ID In~allnc. 1375 Coney IaIand Aw. -From The Phoenix staff awards at last year's show in Miami. AVI Brooldyn,NewYork11230 took first place awards in corporate theater, \