Page 2 - ThePhoenix1996-97

Thursday, September 5,1996 - Page 2 COMMENTARY Staff RUMINATIONS Editor~ln-Chier Michelle A. Hamilton '98 ------_,I MichelleHamilton,Editor-In-Chief..,------ Managing Editor Sarah E. Sheckells '97 As returning students swing back into the Subway only lets you order through a win- the silver station wagon with green and yel- groove of making alar creations, late night dow after 12 a.m. Another option, especially low stripes. Advertising Manager food runs, and pinching pennies (you' II have for daytime cravings, is Little G's. -By October, first year students are masters Sarah Gruber '99 to after you buy those books!), we should -Telling Campus Safety that you're drink- at fitting 8 people in a car that's the size of a try and remember those who are mastering ing apple juice is extremely unoriginal. Geo Storm. News Editors these skills for the first time. -Some of the best food in Glar is served the - In Hoover, the periodical you want is al- Grant A. Rice '99 This year WMC not only gains 444 new day after a special event. ways missing, or the page is torn out. Christian Wilwohl '98 students in the class of 2000, but 10 new in- -There's free food during exams (Nacho - One ring is on campus, two is off. ternational students and 20 students from Night is especially good). - There is always a building under construe- Features Editors WMC Budapest who will graduate with the -606ing is sometimes the best way to leave non. Jennifer Vick '98 class of '98 have been added to WMC. We a message. So, while Emily Stamathis '99 have students from 23 states and around 15 -You just don't touch the walls in Rouzer. common ordeals, we continue to wrestle with like the same old food ev- countries joining us this fall. Before long, -If someone says, "It's in Memorial," don't ery week and balancing our time, remember Sports Editors these students will have adjusted to their new think you missed a building during Orienta- that some are going through the ropes for Carolyn Barnes '99 home. tion. the first time. Keep that in mind and ex- John Manard '97 They, too, will soon discover that: -Emie Ogle doesn't stay up to leave those tend an invitation or offer a ride, a hand or a -Sheetz, Dominos, and 7-11 are great places messages. hint to one of our newest additions this fall. Photography Editor for late night munchies, and that the new - It's generally not good to get a free ride in Meghan Joyce "99 LOCK AND KEY Circulation Manager Laurie Cicero '98 ;:==~~~~~~--{I:2~~o~n~a~th~o~n~S~h~a~c~a~t::J~I----------------- Computer Consultant Heather Brinkhous '97 sheets of paper, rather than the full sheets When Iemptied this pile of mailings from they were printed on. the bag, I noticed it had decreased in size General Staff (This is how I figure it: Last year about I don't year's. Aaron Ahlburn '97 1,200 mailboxes were used at the WMC post compared to the previous can be attested to know if this phenomenon Aaron Corbett '99 office, estimates Joan Stickles, support ser- Barb's actions or even mine, but I know for Becky Cockerill '99 ,B~ When a department sends sure that there was a difference in the size of vices coordinator. Adam Dean '98 out a campus-wide mailing, it is actually us- the piles. However, I should add, there was Joshua Foster '96 ing, or in some cases wasting, 1,200 pieces still unnecessary mail; a lot of which was Tom Gill '99 of paper. If half sheets of paper are used printed on full sheets of paper. Together, we Amy Hanna '99 Save a tree! instead of full sheets, then only 600 pieces went through all of these pieces of junk mail. Nicki Kassolis '99 When I first came to Western Maryland are used, or wasted.) While we did this, we took note of which Stacey McIntyre '99 about two years ago, I noticed that college AI the end of my meeting with Barb, she administrative offices had printed some of Mike Puskar '99 students get a large amount of mail. told me she would do what she could to stop their campus-wide mailings on half sheets Heather Reese '96 Not only was I getting sent applications this problem. What it was that she had in of paper (showing an effort to conserve pa- Jonathon Shacat '98 for credit cards, and the such, I was also re- mind was not clear to me, but that did not per) during the academic year. These in- Sarah Snell '98 ceiving a lot of unnecessary campus mail rnauer. The sheer fact that she listened to cluded (in alphabetical order) Academic Af- Cameron Speir '97 that, frankly, I had no interest in reading (ie. and acknowledged my ideas and opinions fairs, Campus Safety, College Activities, and junk mail). I handled the credit card junk was enough to please me. Student Affairs (Residence Life). mail problem by tearing up the letters and The next school year came around and I At the end of this meeting, I asked her applications and sending them back to the returned to WMC to continue my education. what she thought Icould do to help this situ- company in the "No postage necessary" en- I, again, collected all of my campus junk ation. She responded, "Write a column." So Advisers velopes that are enclosed in the packages. mail and, when the year ended, paid another I did just that. I have only two years left at Herb Smith (I think the people at Visa have finally real- visit to Barb. As soon as I entered her of- this fine institution, maybe, in that period of Maryann Suehle ized who they are dealing with.) At that fice, she knew exactly why I was there; it time, the amount of campus junk mail a stu- Molly Dugan point, Ihad to figure out a way Icould elimi- was as though she had read my mind. dent at WMC receives will be minimal. nate (or ar Ieast cut down on) the amount of The Phoenix is published biweekly. campus junk mail I was being sent. I didn't The opinions expressed do not necessar- know what to do with it as it piled up in my TALES FROM ily represent those of The Phoenix staff, room. I decided to collect it in my bottom the faculty, or the administrators of desk drawer, to keep it out of the way. WMC. At the end of the year, when I began to REALITY The paper welcomes free-lance sub- pack-up my stuff to move out of my room, I missions on Macintosh disks in most realized I had accumulated a lot of paper in word processor formats. The editor re- that drawer. I, again, didn't know what to !SergioAguileda. serves the right to edit for clarity, length, do with it but figured Ishould take some sort and libel and to publish as space permits. of action to make all of my efforts to save All submissions (excluding self-ad- the mailings worthwhile. So, I thought about Well, boys and girls ofWMC Land, the lines. The only difference is that you don't dressed diskettes) become the property it and decided to schedule an appointment talc for the first issue of the semester is really spend money, unless you pay a pro- of The Phoenix and cannot be returned. with someone important, like a dean, with about one of the clearer signs of male cre- fessional pickup lines writer or bribe the Please include a name and phone whom I could share my concerns. ativity. Here I'm not talking about music, girl's best friend to do thejob for you, which number for verification. Names will be I chose Associate Dean of the First Year painting or football. I'm talking about is as brave and bold as fishing sharks with a withheld only by the discretion of the Program Barbara Horneff. When the day pickup lines. Iknow that some girls are us- thermonuclear submarine. Editor-in-Chief. came for my meeting, I stuffed all the junk ing them now (fortunately), but it's pre- ~ However you do spend time. Just keep The Phoenix does not discriminate mail into my backpack and headed to her of- dominantly a guy thing. The definition of in mind, boys and girls ofWMC Land, how based on age, race, religion, gender, fice. Upon arriving, I don't think she knew pickup lines, according to Webster's Dic- many guys have wasted their youth trying sexual orientation, national origin, con- why I was there. I sat down in her rocking tionary, which I just made up, (sorry, I'm to pick up girls because they were told that dition of handicap, or marital status. chair and proceeded to open the bag and pour too tired to open the real Webster's), are the brother of a friend of a friend of a cousin out all of the mail. Next, I went through all these nonsenses, usually lies, that guys say who lives in Cleveland used pickup lines to Mail 10: of the mailings and asked her if she thought hoping to get the ultimate prize. It's like the meet a girl that ended up being his wife (and The Phoenix each piece was necessary or if it was .. junk. lottery. You know that Rosanne is more who had the sex-appeal of Luciano Pavarotti WMC, 2 College Hill We agreed that many of the mailings were likely to be on the cover of Playboy (or in a swim suit). Probably Adam was the first Westminster, MD 21157 "unnecessary" and could have been substi- John Goodman for Playgirl ) than your guy who used a pickup line; he was also the tuted by hanging a poster that conveyed the chances of winning a penny in the lottery. first and only guy in history dumped by a (410) 751-8600 same information. Some of the other mail- But you don't care and you keep on wast- girl because of a snake. Don't feel bad. (410) 876-2055, ext 8600 ings, the ones that actually were "necessary," ing time and money on it. Here I mean lot- Adam, if you want to feel better, just watch FAX, (410) 857-2729 we agreed, could have been printed on half tery, but it's the same thing with pickup Continued on page 6