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CONTRAST - 37

CHILDFREE

BY KATHERINE KISSEL

I'm old enough to drink,
to smoke, to join the army,
to choose a career,
to get married,
but I'm too young to know
what I want in my life.
I'll change my mind when I get older,
friends tell me, or when I'm in a
better position in my life.

Society says that I won't know what it is to live
until I live for someone else.
I don't want to live for someone else.
I don't want children.

There are too many people on this planet already
and I feel no need to pass my genetic legacy on
to some kid who has no idea
what he's getting into.
No.

That is not what I want in my life.

The thought of a parasite growing inside of me for nine months
and then spending the next eighteen years
demanding all of my time and attention is
the stuff of nightmares for me.
That is not what I want my life to look like.

I want my life to be my own,
not to belong to somebody else.
They say that parenting isn't about the parent,
not about the parent's wants or needs or dreams,
but why would I want to give up eighteen years
of my life serving the needs of another?
Call me selfish if you'd like, but
I feel as though it would be selfish of me
to bring a life into this world
just because people tell me I'll regret
not doing it when I'm older.

Let's talk about regret.
Regret is being ninety in a nursing home
where nobody ever comes to see you
and you spend your days watching the television
and wondering which of your friends will die next
and living just like my grandparents

who had four children.