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She looks down at the stack of books still gathered in her
arms. “It’s going to be a long week,” she says.

“You’re telling me.”
She looks over at the fridge. “D’you want me to make
pancakes?”
“Please do.”

⁂

I shouldn’t be surprised when I sit down in the library,
fire up my laptop, and launch my web browser to find a blog
post titled “Thinking About Leaving Grad School?” still open
in my main tab. I remember leaving it there yesterday, before
turning back to the countless readings I still have to get
through before my comprehensive exams. I remember
hovering over the red X button, thinking about closing it out. I
remember deciding not to. But the title still gives me an
unpleasant jolt, and I slam my laptop shut, glancing around
for other library-goers who might be looking over my
shoulder.

There aren’t any, of course, but still scanning the area for
prying eyes, I open my laptop back up and log back in. I don’t
even know why it needs to be such a secret. Plenty of people
think about leaving their programs during graduate school. I
knew that before coming in; I only read it in every just don’t
go article and heard it from every professor who wrote me a
letter of recommendation. Everyone thinks about leaving. All
I’m doing is research on the subject. Isn’t that what grad
students are supposed to do, anyway? Research?

I glance back at the blog post, and open my email in
another tab, leaving it sitting there, just out of view.

⁂

Calvin from the classics department isn’t a total asshole.
Actually, he’s sort of cute—in a scholarly sort of way, silver

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