Page 67 - Contrast2013

She felt so lost. So foolish. He had moved on already; how
could those 31, 647 hours have not meant a thing to him? Him,
already hugging another woman, and her, so lost in missing him
that pieces of her heart sprang out and she was left unable to
sleep night after night.
Sometimes those nights consisted of making a warm cup of
ea. Other nights, she took Zipper out for a walk. They enjoyed
the cool air together, and she could forget for a moment that her
house and kitchen and bedroom were empty. The stars dotted
across the sky, decorated like wax drippings across a wooden
table.
She felt green. Why did it have to be green? She loved the
color green, but that was something different. This was not her
green. Her green used to be beautiful, elegant, and strong. It
grew out of her, making her bigger and greater than anyone and
everything.
How could she do this?
This green was something else, something different. She
did not like it. It made her feel sick and unhappy. She felt weak.
How could he be with someone else so soon? The thirteen hun-
dred and eighteen days they had shared. Their thirteen hundred
and eighteen days. Now, they were only her thirteen hundred
and eighteen. He was gone. He had moved on already, with this
blond girl who had come out of nowhere, leaving her in the dark.
He gave up all they had had together, and for what? Because he
did not love her? They had been happy together, was he happier
now with this blond bitch than he had been with her?
She could change. She could be a blonde. She could visit
Greece, she could be adventurous. She could be cultured. She
could lose weight, and begin wine tasting. She could change.
She could make him see her differently. She could be different.
The only thing she couldn’t do was lose Zipper. Zipper was
only about 3 by then, but she was already an integral part of her
life. Some mornings were naught until Zipper got her up with

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