Page 36 - Contrast2013
P. 36

the back of his throat. He shoves it down and swallows. “It’s
 okay.”
    “Maybe next time,” Freddie says, quiet. He still won’t look
 at Ira.
    “Yeah, Fred,” Ira says, though that’s what he said last time,
 and the time before that, and it’s cruel that they can’t even have
 this anymore, that as the words leave his mouth they both know
 it’s a lie. “Next time.”

                                      •••
    Ira’s getting dressed, tucking his shirt into his slacks, when
 he realizes he’s forgotten to ask.
    “You want me to make coffee before I leave this morning,”
 he says, walking out into the living room, hiking his suspenders
 up over his shoulders, “or would you rather I wait until…” Ira
 trails off when he reaches the bathroom door, which is slightly
 ajar. Freddie stands motionless in front of the sink, shaving
 cream smeared on his cheek, safety razor pressed to the under-
 side of his jaw. There’s a tremor in his hand, and his eyes are
 fixed on his stump in the mirror. The box of spare blades sits
 open on the side of the sink.
    “Freddie?” Ira pushes the door open further.
    “Jesus, Ira,” Freddie swears, pulling the razor away. A slick
 bead of blood quickly wells up where he’d been holding it and
 slips down his neck.
    Ira straightens. “You all right?” he asks.
    “Fine. I’m fine —just, Christ, warn a fellow before you do
 that.” Freddie reaches down and tugs off a small square of toilet
 paper, pressing it to the nick on his neck.
    “Just wanted to ask if I should make coffee before I head
 out.”
    “Yeah. Yeah, sure,” Freddie says, taking his hand away
 from his neck and rubbing what remained of his other upper arm.
“That’d be fine.” A red star blooms on Freddie’s neck, underneath
 the paper.

 Contrast | 36
   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41