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ins Dug Out; of Z\.. Ditch

Mama and I opted for the kitchen table. The TV tray
minority gulped the food and the news in the next room. Grunts
approved the mashed potatoes. The loudest grunts were for the
Congressional vote or the Governor's veto. We couldn't hear
him, but we knew.

Mama poured the iced tea. "Your father persuaded those
two young boys from the school board to reconsider."

"Then he ought to be in a good mood. That will end just
as soon as Jim comes to pick me up tonight." I was instantly
sorry that I had spoken. There's a rule that if you empty a
bowl at the table, you have to fill it from the stove. Suddenly
I wasn't sure what I was going to fill the silence with. Our
two forkplates scraping obliterated the midweek six o'clock
broadcast.

"Am I supposed to sneak out, avoid Papa? He's the one
who's always so concerned about appearances. Well, how does
he think this looks? It's pretty obvious that this is much
more than the normal father-lover jealousy bit."

"Now Liza, be fair. You have to understand his position.
If you'll remember, he liked Jim until he found out who his
father is."

"Am I going to stain the family name? Is that what he's
afraid of? It's like an inquisition everytime I bring someone
home. 'Hi, son. Pleased to meet you. Who's your father? Oh,
yes, fine family. Your grandfather and I have been friends
since way back whenever: "

"He's just concerned that you date the right kind of people."
"Right for him or for me? Papa thought enough of Jim's
father to appoint him to the port authority. Then, as soon
as someone questions Mr. Burkhard's integrity, Papa washes
his hands and passes judgement. If someone didn't want me
around because they thought I was juggling books, I'd leave too.
They wouldn't have to ask me twice."

"Liza, try to see it from your father's viewpoint. He
has to protect himself. Nobody could figure out where James
was getting the money to build that house he's got now."

"Well, maybe we could afford to fix up this old house too, if we
didn't have to keep throwing money into the campaign fund."

Mama winced at my words and now she closed her eyes and waited.
"Still, why does he have to be rude to Jim? You should
have seen him screw his nose up. Cleared his throat and turned
his defense mechanism on automatic pilot. 'My health is good
and my conscience is clear and I hope that you can say the same.
Did you hear what I said?' How could we help but hear? Loud
and clear. GUilty."

I nearly tripped over the corner of a loose tile in the
kitchen floor as I put my empty plate in the sink.

"I suppose that it would reflect directly on Papa if I
decided to go to California and get myself... "

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