Page 125 - YB1968

Cold whiteness in the air ... little kid feeling about first snow . dining hall trays behind the chapel. . puddles on the floor of the grill .. masculine pleasure of men-like excited boys again, pushing a car stuck in the snow. girls- enjoying the soft effect of snowllakes catch ing on their hair. warmth of tree lights glowing on the chapel lawn as you walk to the dining hall on a dark early December evening. a stir of excitement and memories of Christmas as a child. trying to catch a fondly-remembered spirit and the frustration of miles to go before. apathy toward classes and a yearning for something missed. guilty feeling of sentimentality quickly hidden at the sound of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" and a lump in your throat as you light another cigarette and contemplate beery holiday revels at Frocks. longing to get home and decorate the tree. warm smell of cookies baking and the hectic fun of shopping and wrapping. or perhaps, the endless flow of holiday cheer. two more papers to type ... decorating your door .. and walking through Westminster, complaining about the lack of quality in the little town but enjoying something about it just the same. Christmas and a catch of that exhilarating just-happiness or maybe a feeling of flatness that you try to deny even to yourself . a yearning to recapture .. the long week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. regret perhaps, but you're carrying through in the expected manner. Back to school ... yes, "It was fabulous, how was yours?" engagement rings ... new sweaters and masks of boredom on faces mouthing disgust at having to come back. some pretending maybe, trying to convince themselves that they can he happy somewhere else. 121